Mother May I?

The Mother May I? icebreaker is a classic children’s game that promotes the use of manners while providing physical activity and entertainment. The purpose of this game is to encourage kids to ask for permission before taking action, which can be an important social skill to learn at a young age. In this game, one person serves as the “mother” or “captain” who calls out directions, step types, and number of steps that a child must take. However, before moving, the child must remember to ask “Mother may I?” or “Captain may I?”, to which the mother/captain will respond with either “Yes” or “No”. If the child fails to ask for permission, they must return to the starting line. The first child to touch the mother/captain becomes the new mother/captain, making this game a fun and engaging way to practice good manners and build social connections. Overall, Mother May I? is an excellent icebreaker activity that encourages kids to be polite, active, and engaged with their peers.

1. One person is chosen as the “mother” or “captain” and stands facing away from a line of kids.
2. The mother/captain calls out a direction, step type, and number of steps for a child at random.
3. The child then responds with “Mother may I?” or “Captain may I?”
4. The mother/captain states “Yes” or “No”, depending on their whim.
5. The child obeys and takes the steps if the answer is yes.
6. If the child forgets to ask “Mother may I?” they go back to the beginning of the line.
7. The first one to touch the Mother/Captain wins and becomes the new Mother/Captain.
8. An alternate version of the game involves each child taking turns asking, “Mother/Captain may I take [x kind of] steps?” with the mother or captain replying yes or no.
9. There are other kinds of steps possible for this game such as bunny hops, frog hops, scissors steps, skip steps, and banana step.

• No specific materials required: This game is a simple action game that can be played with just a group of kids and one person acting as the “mother” or “captain.” The children take turns moving towards the mother/captain by following the directions given, such as taking baby steps, normal steps, giant steps, or other creative movements.

To set up for the Mother May I? icebreaker activity, you will need to choose a suitable outdoor location with enough space for all the participants to stand in a line facing away from a designated “mother” or “captain.” The players should be arranged in a random order. It is important to ensure that the mother/captain can easily see and face the line of participants. No materials are required for this activity, but it’s essential to establish clear rules and communicate them to all participants before starting the game.

1. Choose the “Mother” or “Captain”: I start by selecting one player to be the mother or captain. This person will stand facing away from the other players, who will line up at a starting point some distance away.
2. Decide on the Direction and Type of Steps: The mother or captain calls out a direction (forward or backward), step type (baby, normal, giant, bunny hops, frog hops, scissors steps, skips, or banana steps), and number of steps for a specific player to take. For example, “You may take seven baby steps forward.”
3. Player Responds with “Mother/Captain May I?”: The called-upon player then responds by asking, “Mother/Captain may I?” This step is crucial and serves as a way to reinforce manners during the game.
4. Mother or Captain Answers “Yes” or “No”: The mother or captain will answer “Yes” or “No,” signifying whether the player can take the steps. If the answer is no, the player does not move and waits for the next turn.
5. Player Takes the Steps: If the mother or captain answers “Yes,” the player takes the specified number of steps in the given direction while maintaining the chosen step type.
6. Repeat with Other Players: I continue taking turns calling on players, deciding on their directions and step types, and allowing them to move based on my responses. Encourage creativity with various step types to keep the game engaging and fun.
7. Winning the Game: The first player to reach and touch the mother or captain becomes the new mother or captain, and a new round begins. This process continues until all players have had their fill of the game.

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• Reinforces Manners: This game encourages kids to use polite language and manners when interacting with each other, by consistently asking “Mother May I?” or “Captain May I?”
• Promotes Patience and Turn-taking: By taking turns and waiting for the “mother” or “captain’s” response, children learn patience and the importance of turn-taking in games and social situations.
• Encourages Physical Activity: The game involves movement and different types of steps, providing opportunities for kids to be physically active and expend energy while playing outdoors.
• Boosts Creativity: With various step options like bunny hops, frog hops, scissors steps, and banana steps, children can use their imagination and come up with new, fun ways to move.
• Fosters a Sense of Fair Play: By following the rules and respecting the “mother’s” or “captain’s” decisions, kids learn about fair play and adhering to guidelines in games.
• Enhances Listening Skills: Children must pay close attention to the instructions given by the “mother” or “captain” to follow the correct number and type of steps, improving their listening skills.
• Builds Social Connections: As an icebreaker, Mother May I encourages interaction among children, helping them build connections and have fun together.

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• Communication skills: Playing Mother May I? requires children to clearly communicate their requests and responses, helping them develop strong communication skills from a young age.
• Manners and etiquette: The game’s core concept revolves around asking for permission before taking action, reinforcing the importance of manners and etiquette in social situations.
• Turn-taking and patience: As children take turns asking to move, they learn to wait patiently for their turn while others are being served, promoting turn-taking skills.
• Listening comprehension: Children must listen carefully to the instructions given by the “mother” or “captain,” which can help improve their overall listening comprehension abilities.
• Physical coordination and gross motor skills: By performing various types of steps such as baby, normal, giant, bunny hops, frog hops, scissors steps, skip steps, and banana step, children enhance their physical coordination and gross motor skills.
• Memory retention: Remembering the rules of the game, including asking “Mother may I?” or “Captain may I?”, contributes to memory retention development in younger kids.
• Decision-making: Choosing which type of step to take when called upon helps children practice making decisions based on their current position and situation.
• Social interaction: Engaging in a group game with peers promotes positive social interaction, teaching kids how to respectfully play together and have fun as a team.

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I appreciate the simplicity and nostalgia associated with the Mother May I? icebreaker. As a kid, I enjoyed playing this game during recess, and it brings back happy memories. I like that the game encourages manners and politeness through the repeated phrase “Mother may I?”. It’s also an inclusive activity since players of various ages and abilities can participate by adjusting the number and type of steps they take.

Moreover, Mother May I? is a versatile game as it can be played with different types of steps, making it more engaging and fun. The creativity involved in coming up with new step variations adds an element of excitement to the game. Overall, Mother May I? is a great icebreaker that promotes good manners, inclusivity, and creativity.

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• Tip: Use gender-neutral language Instead of using “Mother” or “Father,” consider using terms like “Captain” or “Leader” to make the game more inclusive for all players, regardless of their family structure or gender identity.
• Tip: Offer a variety of step options Make sure to include a range of step types that accommodate different physical abilities and comfort levels. For example, you could offer seated steps (where players scoot forward on their bottoms) or wheelchair-friendly steps (where players use their wheels to move forward).
• Tip: Encourage respectful communication Remind players to listen carefully when others are taking their turn and to avoid interrupting or talking over them. This can help create a more welcoming and inclusive atmosphere for all players.
• Tip: Be mindful of cultural differences If you’re playing with a diverse group, be aware that certain movements or gestures may have different meanings or connotations in different cultures. Make sure to explain any unfamiliar step types clearly and respectfully to avoid misunderstandings.
• Tip: Offer modifications for neurodiverse players Consider offering visual or auditory cues for players who may have trouble remembering the rules or keeping track of their steps. You could also offer a quiet space or fidgets for players who need sensory input or movement breaks.

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1. What did you enjoy most about playing “Mother May I”? Understanding what activities participants enjoyed can help facilitators plan future events that are engaging and fun for all.
2. Did you find it challenging to remember to ask “Mother May I” before taking steps? Why or why not? This question can help facilitators gauge the effectiveness of the game in reinforcing manners and good behavior.
3. What type of steps did you find most difficult to perform, and why? By asking this question, facilitators can learn more about the group’s physical abilities and limitations, which can be helpful when planning future activities.
4. How did it feel to take turns being the “Mother” or “Captain”? Did your perspective change when it was your turn to lead? This question can help participants reflect on leadership, empathy, and the importance of inclusivity in games and activities.
5. Did you notice any patterns in the types of steps that were given or allowed by the “Mother” or “Captain”? If so, what were they? This question can encourage critical thinking and observation skills, as well as help participants identify potential biases or favoritism in gameplay.
6. How did you feel when someone forgot to ask “Mother May I”, and how did the group respond? This question can prompt reflection on sportsmanship, fairness, and the importance of rules in games and activities.

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